Think Amy Klobes is hardcore for announcing her presidential run in the middle of a snowstorm without a hat on? You haven’t seen Lake Superior under 90 percent ice cover, looking smug. Did you know that it would take about six people their entire lifetimes to resurface all that ice with Zambonis? @LakeSuperior tweets neat facts like that to 30,000-plus followers because, regardless of all those 100-year-old sturgeons running around inside her and NOAA’s constant monitoring, it can be mighty lonely at the top. Ten-thousand-year-old Lake Superior is devastatingly beautiful and knows that feigning humility is for inferior bodies of water, so you can expect her to retweet a lot of fawning fan mail and glamorous photos of herself splashing up on cliffs or glistening under the midday sun. She’s also interested in ships, lighthouses, and you taking your dog on long walks on her beaches. She’s indisputably the Greatest Lake of All Time. Just ask her.